I have loved fashion for as long as I can remember. For most of that time, it didn’t love me back.
Growing up, I watched trends come and go without ever really being part of them. I’d spend hours going from store to store, trying on every “extra small” I could find, and walk out with nothing. More than once, I walked out in tears.
So makeup became my outlet. It was the one part of getting dressed that didn’t need to fit.
When I started working in beauty, it became even easier to hide. There was a uniform, an all-black dress code, and activewear at the weekend. Nobody expected me to have a style, so I never had to admit that what looked effortless on everyone else never looked right on me.
But in reality, I never felt like I was able to show up as me. My external reality never matched my internal one. No matter how good my skin looked, or how perfect my winged liner was, if your outfit is off, you feel it.
And because I could never fit into a standard size, I never got the chance most people get: to try things, get them wrong, experiment, and slowly discover their style. To let it change with the seasons, or with the seasons of their life.
Six months behind
Living in Australia made it even harder, in a way I didn’t fully understand until I left.
Fashion runs on a northern hemisphere calendar. The collections, the fashion weeks, the magazines and, now, social media all move in time with autumn in September and spring in March. So I’d see a trend everywhere, fall in love with a piece, and go looking for it, only to find stores full of the opposite season.
By the time that trend arrived in Australian stores, around six months later, it was no longer new. The rest of the world had moved on. I was constantly behind, literally.
And even the brands that advertised “petite” didn’t fit. Most were designed for average proportions and simply shortened, so even the smallest petite size was still inches too big.
London, on time
Moving to London opened my eyes to fashion in a completely new way. Being in a fashion capital was part of it. But for the first time, I also felt like I finally understood how fashion actually worked, and how to shop it.
I’d see something, and it would be in stores straight away. I could shop autumn in autumn, at the same time as everyone else was shopping and posting about it. Fashion was finally within reach.
It sounds so simple. But when you live on the other side of the world, seeing winter trends while summer stock fills the shops, it’s easy to think the problem is you. It wasn’t. We were just six months behind.
It also taught me something practical. If you want a great pair of knee-high boots, autumn is when to buy them. Good luck finding a pair in spring or summer. That was exactly the problem I’d been facing for years.
The fit problem didn’t move with me
Even as that world opened up, the problem of fit didn’t go away. Most stores still don’t stock my size.
The good news is that a few more retailers on this side of the world carry a size 4 or XXS, at least online. So in a small way, I’ve finally been able to experiment, find what fits, and slowly begin to develop my style.
I also realised quite quickly that following trends wasn’t going to work for me. When you can’t find your size, have very little variety to choose from, and need to tailor almost everything, trends move too fast to keep up with.
So I’ve started investing in timeless staples instead. Simple, clean silhouettes, with minimal design details, in pieces that will last beyond a single season. Especially because I’m still building the foundations of a wardrobe I never really had.
Even that hasn’t been easy. A simple white T-shirt that doesn’t swamp my frame is harder to find than it should be. So is a tank top whose armholes don’t drop halfway down my chest. And a trench coat that isn’t overwhelmingly oversized still eludes me to this day.
The irony
This chapter has also come with stepping into the fashion industry itself. Moving from beauty into fashion wasn’t the obvious choice, but it felt like a natural continuation of my journey, and the right moment to really immerse myself.
What’s ironic is that even now, working as an educator in the industry, I still can’t find pieces that fit. I’ve had an extraordinary clothing allowance and still couldn’t spend it on ready-to-wear.
So handbags and shoes have become my next obsession. Why? Because they fit.
Why tailoring isn’t the answer
You might think tailoring is the easy fix. But that’s a narrow way to look at clothes, because the problem is so much bigger than the length of a hem.
It’s the rise. It’s the drop of the armhole. It’s the overall proportions, many of which can’t be changed without reconstructing the whole garment. And even when they can, hemming every pair of trousers and taking in the arms of every blazer is time-consuming and expensive. It also feels unfair. And that’s before you’ve found a good tailor you can trust.
Why I talk about this
People often tell me how lucky I am to be so small. What they don’t see is the struggle. It isn’t just clothes. It’s jewellery and hats. It’s needing a stool to reach a shelf, or adjusting your office chair because your feet don’t touch the ground. But that’s a story for another day.
I talk about this because I know I’m not the only one. There are millions of petite women being underserved by the fashion industry. And it’s time we stopped shrinking ourselves, spoke up, and took up space.
The plus-size market was underrepresented for years, and look how far it has come, because people stood up and asked for more. Now it’s our turn.
This is where I want to start being the change I’d like to see.
What this space is for
So this is where I’m starting.
Here, I’ll share what I’ve learned, and what I’m still learning. The pieces that genuinely fit a petite frame. The measurements worth knowing. The timeless staples worth investing in. And the honest truth about the things that still don’t work yet, because pretending they do won’t help anyone.
I don’t have all the answers, and the industry certainly doesn’t yet. But I’d like this to be the place I wish I’d had as the girl walking out of the fitting room in tears. Somewhere you can finally try things, experiment, and discover your own style, in your own size, at the same time as everyone else.
I’ve loved fashion for as long as I can remember. I’d like it, finally, to love us back.
